Gender roles AKA I'm not your mother, neither are you a toddler

Yesterday I took my dad to the doctor. My dad is a slob, and my mom is constantly at his heel telling him to change into fancier clothes, brush whatever hair he has left, etc. But he's also fifty years old, and if he wants to leave the house in muddy shoes and not having showered today so be it. It doesn't reflect bad at my because he's not my toddler son, so it is not my responsability how he presents himself. Explaining this to my mother took roughly half an hour (dad stayed at my house overnight because the doctor is closer and the appointment was very early). The doctor told me he should stop smoking. I told the doctor my dad is mentally sound so he should tell him and not me because I'm his daughter, not his puppeteer. So that went that way. Dad silently made his own tea when we got home, put away the overnight bag he'd previously thrown in the floor when it became clear I wasn't going to, and remembered I don't take after my mom.